birthday quotes funny for friends

There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept. ~Ansel Adams



"Thou shalt not kill" does not apply to murder of one's own kind only, but to all living beings; and this Commandment was inscribed in the human breast long before it was proclaimed from Sinai. ~Leo Tolstoy



I know we're meant to be these hard-headed, money-obsessed professionals but we're still little boys at heart. Just ask our wives. ~Rob Lee, 1998



An exhibitionist is nothing without a voyeur. ~S.A. Sachs



Silence is the universal refuge, the sequel to all dull discourses and all foolish acts, a balm to our every chagrin, as welcome after satiety as after disappointment. ~Henry David Thoreau



Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us. ~Voltaire



If man were relieved of all superstition, and all prejudice, and had replaced these with a keen sensitivity to his real environment, and moreover had achieved a level of communication so simplified that one syllable could express his every thought, then he would have achieved the level of intelligence already achieved by his dog. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



He who travels in search of something which he has not got, travels away from himself and grows old even in youth among old things. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance"



Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese Proverb



The unique impression of Jesus upon mankind - whose name is not so much written as ploughed into the history of the world - is proof of the subtle virtue of this infusion. Jesus belonged to the race of prophets. He saw with open eyes the mystery of the soul. One man was true to what is in you and me. He, as I think, is the only soul in history who has appreciated the worth of man. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Many things grow in the garden that were never sown there. ~Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732



God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go. "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God. "Well, how about Mercury?" "No, it's too hot there." "Okay," said St. Peter, "what about Earth?" "No," said God, "They're such horrible gossips. When I was there 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they're still talking about it." ~Author Unknown



A smile is the universal welcome. ~Max Eastman



New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain



The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. ~George Elliot



A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings



If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn't even eat hash with safety. ~Josh Billings, His Complete Works, 1888



The young do not need God, and the old cannot find Him. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



Being human in our modern civilization is being forced into a boxing ring with Nature. And we're bloodied every time. ~M. Robin D'Antan



Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966