free funny quotes wallpapers

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ~Elbert Hubbard



A drunken man is fitly named: he has drank, till he is drunken: the wine swallows his consciousness, and it sinks therein. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it. ~Groucho Marx



A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. ~Bill Vaughan



Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ~Heinrich Heine



Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends. ~Richard Bach



The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams



It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards. ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland



Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood. ~Gandhi, Non-violence in Peace and War, 1948



Basketball is an endurance sport, and you have to learn to control your breath; that's the essence of yoga, too. So, I consciously began using yoga techniques in my practice and playing. I think yoga helped reduce the number and severity of injuries I suffered. As preventative medicine, it's unequaled. ~Kareem Abdul-Jabbar



It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. ~Sally Field



Happiness flutters in the air whilst we rest among the breaths of nature. ~Kelly Scheaffer



Our bodies are the burial grounds of dead time. ~T.A. Sachs, to "Time! where didst thou those years inter, Which I have seene decease?" by William Habington



New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. ~Jay Leno



Breastfeeding is a mother's gift to herself, her baby and the earth. ~Pamela K. Wiggins



Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything. ~Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt



The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel. ~Robert Morley, 1965



Not the glittering weapon fights the fight, but rather the hero's heart. ~Proverb



Dare to be imperfect and one day there will tug at your sleeve a soulmate. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997