funny quotes about marriage

We can put it in its proper perspective by supposing that Gutenberg's great invention had been directed at printing only comic books. ~Robert M. Hutchins, News Summaries, 31 December 1977



It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses. ~Mrs. Patrick Campbell



However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. ~Henry David Thoreau



An honorable man will not be bullied by a hypothesis. ~Bergen Evans, "A Tale of a Tub," The Natural History of Nonsense



Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners. ~Laurence Sterne



Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. ~David Star Jordan, The Philosophy of Despair



It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. ~J.J. Walsh



There must be reasons why we men are so hipped on breasts as if we'd all been weaned too soon. ~Gunter Grass



No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep and have a pocket full of unexposed film. ~Robert Adams, Darkroom & Creative Camera Techniques, May 1995



In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. ~Terry Pratchett



The prevalent fear of poverty among the educated classes is the worst moral disease from which our civilization suffers. ~William James



There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year. ~Author Unknown



There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women. ~Alfred Capus



The greater the number of laws and enactments, the more thieves and robbers there will be. ~Lao-tzu



And thank you for a house full of people I love. Amen. ~Terri Guillemets



I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle. ~Erma Bombeck



It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life. ~P.D. James



In thoughts from the visions of the night, when deep sleep falleth on men... ~Job 4:13



Wine is sunlight, held together by water. ~Galileo



Whatever you condemn, you have done yourself. ~Georg Groddeck, The Book of the It, 1950