cute and funny quotes about life

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman



If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me. ~Author Unknown



Sweat silently. Let's have no squawking about a little expenditure of energy. ~Martin H. Fischer



A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. ~Edward de Bono



All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays. ~Cathy Ladman



You know you live in Phoenix when you can drive four hours in any one direction and never leave the Valley. ~Author Unknown



Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. ~Gloria Steinem, New York Times, 26 August 1971



The naive follow their hearts. The wise lead with their hearts. ~Author Unknown



My other car is a Zamboni. ~Hockey Saying



Skipping is to fly like an angel. ~Opal Montagne



Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." ~Herbert Spencer



In dog years, I'm dead. ~Author Unknown



You know how I feel about tacos. It's the only food shaped like a smile. A beef smile. ~Danielle Sanchez-Witzel and Michael Pennie, My Name is Earl, "South of the Border Part Uno/Dos," original airdate 7 December 2006, spoken by the character Earl Hickey



The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments. ~Mad Magazine



I have often lamented that we cannot close our ears with as much ease as we can our eyes. ~Richard Steele



I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. ~Ellen DeGeneres



Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. ~Colossians 4:6



As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her. ~Erma Bombeck



Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.



It is curious that with the advent of the automobile and the airplane, the bicycle is still with us. Perhaps people like the world they can see from a bike, or the air they breathe when they're out on a bike. Or they like the bicycle's simplicity and the precision with which it is made. Or because they like the feeling of being able to hurtle through air one minute, and saunter through a park the next, without leaving behind clouds of choking exhaust, without leaving behind so much as a footstep. ~Gurdon S. Leete