To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation. ~E.W. Howe
Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property." ~Joan Rivers
If I set for myself a task, be it so trifling, I shall see it through. How else shall I have confidence in myself to do important things? ~George Clason
I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery. ~Author Unknown
A good neighbor will babysit. A great neighbor will babysit twins. ~Author Unknown
Every time Europe looks across the Atlantic to see the American Eagle, it observes only the rear end of an ostrich. ~H.G. Wells
Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work. ~Lemony Snicket
Some people do not become thinkers simply because their memories are too good. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket. ~Raymond Chandler
Uneven numbers are the gods' delight. ~Virgil, The Eclogues
Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor. ~James Russell Lowell
Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks. ~Jean Rhys
We manage to swallow flesh only because we do not think of the cruel and sinful thing that we do. Cruelty... is a fundamental sin, and admits of no arguments or nice distinctions. If only we do not allow our heart to grow callous, it protests against cruelty, is always clearly heard; and yet we go on perpetrating cruelties easily, merrily, all of us - in fact, anyone who does not join in is dubbed a crank. ~Rabindranath Tagore
A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. ~Thomas Mann, Essays of Three Decades, 1947
What may be done at any time will be done at no time. ~Scottish Proverb
Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn. ~Quoted by Lewis Grizzard in Kathy Sue Loudermilk, I Love You
I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit. ~Mae West
Freedom of the press in Britain is freedom to print such of the proprietor's prejudices as the advertiser's won't object to. ~Helen Swaffer
People who do not understand themselves have a craving for understanding. ~Wilhelm Stekel
There is only one trait which is irreparable in a statesman: honesty! Honesty is negative and sterile; it is ignorant of the correct evaluation of appetite and ambition - the only powers through which you can found anything durable. ~"The Mission," Chapter 3
I have no country to fight for; my country is the earth, and I am a citizen of the world. ~Eugene V. Debs
When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again. ~Hugo L. Black
Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. ~George Orwell, "Why I Write," 1947 (Thanks, Jennifer)
