Death never takes the wise man by surprise; He is always ready to go. ~Jean de La Fontaine
When I split an infinitive, god damn it, I split it so it stays split. ~Raymond Chandler
While many minority groups are the target for prejudice... and discrimination... in our society, few persons face this hostility without the support and acceptance of their family as do many gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth. ~Virginia Uribe and Karen Harbeck
Beauty is the promise of happiness. ~Stendhal
As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. ~Sandra Boynton
Having babies is fun, but babies grow up into people. ~Colonel Potter, "The Price of Tomato Juice," original airdate 16 December 1975, written by Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds, directed by Gene Reynolds
Children are for people who can't have dogs. ~Author Unknown
The word arse is as much god as the word face. It must be so, otherwise you cut off your god at the waist. ~D.H. Lawrence
Self-confidence grows on trees, in other people's orchards. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war. ~Pentagon official explaining why the U.S. military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War
Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Which Christmas is the most vivid to me? It's always the next Christmas. ~Joanne Woodward Which is worse, screwing an intern or screwing the country? ~Author Unknown
Bicycling is the nearest approximation I know to the flight of birds. The airplane simply carries a man on its back like an obedient Pegasus; it gives him no wings of his own. ~Louis J. Helle, Jr., Spring in Washington
Historical investigation has for its aim to fix the order and character of events throughout past time and in all places. The task is frankly superhuman. ~George Santayana, The Life of Reason
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~Spanish Proverb
Mirth is God's medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it. ~Henry Ward Beecher
He who makes a paradise of his bread makes a hell of his hunger. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. ~Austin O'Malley
God is the tangential point between zero and infinity. ~Alfred Jarry, Gestes et Opinions du Docteur Faustroll Pataphysicien, 1911
man and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged. They nod to me and I to them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate
Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger. ~Albert Payson Terhune
All men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of a masterpiece. ~Eddie Murphy, 1979
Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. ~Ronald Reagan
